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Deviant for 7 Years
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Break Away
With my heart on my sleeve
And a ribbon on my wrist
I don't ever want to stop
Feeling just like this
Sunrise burning in my veins
And arms open wide
I take it in, everything
With nothing left to hide
Memories fall away from me
Shadows of the past
I watch them go, tenderly
I wanted them to last
But as they say,
"Hold on to today.
These times go by with speed."
I have to agree, yet promise, please:
To remember us, and me.
:iconshamelessdaydreamer:ShamelessDaydreamer 3 5
Teeth bared, wings outstretched
Bursting through barriers
Yours and my own
Shattered fragments
Rain down,
Breaking bonds and drawing blood
Sound rising in my throat
Power edged with lightning
I rise from the ashes of yesterday
New, fresh, driven by love
Fueled by raw emotion
With fire blazing in my heart
And diamonds on my skin
I scream out loud, a joyful cry
I tell you:
This day is mine!
:iconshamelessdaydreamer:ShamelessDaydreamer 1 13
Nightfall, for me, holds a much different meaning
than resting in bed and sweet, happy dreaming
I feel panic rise as the sun goes down
and as the curtain of darkness falls, I struggle not to drown
Getting slowly into bed, I gaze about my room
straining to make out familiar shapes through the eerie gloom
Hell seems almost a sweeter place than the trap I'm in
forced to wait until the sunrise before I'm safe again
Tick-tock, the sound of the clock is all that reaches my ears
the maddening sound seeming only to grow with my mounting fears
Minutes pass, endless hours, tossing and turning in bed
unable to escape, for even a moment, the demons caged in my head
A scene unfolds, like so many others, playing on unconscious fear
but again, like before, and many times more, the face of my tormentor is unclear
Rejoicing in my terror, dancing about, pushing and pulling me under
I wonder how long before the agony is gone as I am torn asunder
:iconshamelessdaydreamer:ShamelessDaydreamer 3 5
see .
I don’t know how to say what I feel,
And it kills me.
I try to sing to you, but you
Cannot hear me.
I try to speak to you, but the words lodge
And strangle me.
I try to be with you, but the walls you’ve built
Prevent me.
I try to show you, with my words, and my pen, and my brush;
But you never see.
:iconshamelessdaydreamer:ShamelessDaydreamer 3 15
you drown me.
you, all smokyfloatinglazysmile--
me, burningsinkingdrowningsighs.
lukewarm water
drags me down,
fills my lungs.
    takes my breath.
words come, but
bubble up
aching for oxygen,
my chest
knees weak,
protest useless,
i see        your face
through my torment.
you s u f f o c a t e me.
your very presence crushing
your eyes shoot          my soul
voice stolen---
you, of course
see none of this
unaffected lovely thing you are.
:iconshamelessdaydreamer:ShamelessDaydreamer 5 20
I am the sun.
Plasma pulsing, roiling, boiling, alive in fire
burning desire.
I am the sea.
Pushing, pulling, lain across silver beach
arching for the moon I’ll never reach.
I am the wind.
Wild and crying, racing through
unable to keep myself wrapped around you.
:iconshamelessdaydreamer:ShamelessDaydreamer 1 15
at midnight.
alone, wrapped in darkness
silence crashing over me
I wonder: when you look at me
what is it that you see?
whispered voices barely there
ghost like fingers on my skin
tracing patterns like the widow’s web
that you have trapped me in
the wind rushes in through my open door
I imagine it’s you there
when its cool, faint touch reaches me
it’s your fingers in my hair
:iconshamelessdaydreamer:ShamelessDaydreamer 2 12
miles apart, inches away.
Your voice doesn’t sound the same through the phone.
I can feel you breathing, hear your gentle sighs in between words, but they sound tinny and weak. My fingers are wound tightly around the phone. The wire connecting it to the wall is my lifeline, my connection to you. I try to picture where you are, what you’re doing, and I see nothing. I just can’t imagine you anywhere without me there, too.
I think I love you.
I tell you this, and you reply in kind. I imagine your words traveling through thin wires, by water and sky and land, faster than my heart beats when you say my name. I think of all the other lovers who lay curled up under blankets, cradling their receivers as they cling on to every word spoken by the soft voice on the other end of the line.
My heart is heavy with the weight of missing you.
:iconshamelessdaydreamer:ShamelessDaydreamer 6 18
Rhubarb and Cherry :iconshamelessdaydreamer:ShamelessDaydreamer 2 8
a night-feathered bird
dark hair, bright eyes
when I reach out to touch you,
you take to the skies
fleeting, enigmatic
are you truly there?
have you someone to hold you,
run soft fingers through black hair?
you avoid me in the daytime
you evade me when I’m here
yet when you call on me at midnight,
how can you blame me for not being there?
you speak of love so casually
and cut me in the same breath
it’s astounding I’m still standing, really
with all these strikes I bear
yours is the rhythm my heart beats to
my spirit lifts at your voice
in this game of leading on
I love you—
I have no choice
:iconshamelessdaydreamer:ShamelessDaydreamer 2 8
                                                          So bright
                                                    Tonight, child of the
                                Night you call me on with your silent
:iconshamelessdaydreamer:ShamelessDaydreamer 6 8
The Door
“Never try to open that door.
Things can never be as they were before.”
Around us was dark but his eyes burned bright
As he leaned down to kiss me goodbye and goodnight.
I knew what lay dormant beyond the threshold,
A place like no other, parallel to our own world
Where spirits roam like wandering winds
And the lines are blurred of love and sin.
It was through the door I passed that day
In the human world I no longer wished to stay.
I’d had enough of the pain, the suffering and wrongs we commit,
So when the chance was given I reached out and took it.
As soon as I entered his hand found mine,
A soft, strong anchor as I passed through space and time.
On the other side, he whispered my name
“How do you know me?” I gasped, senses aflame.
“I’ve known you forever,” said he with a sad smile,
“But it seems circumstances have separated us for a while.”
Again my hand was taken and he led me away
Through the world of mist and magic as the sky swir
:iconshamelessdaydreamer:ShamelessDaydreamer 0 2



look behind you.
United States
Current Residence: in your closet
Favourite genre of music: Alternative
MP3 player of choice: iPod Touch
Skin of choice: my own, i suppose
Favourite cartoon character: Axel, L, Kohaku, Itachi, Zuko, Agatsuma Soubi
Personal Quote: "Just shoot me."


Journal Entry: Fri Nov 13, 2009, 6:20 PM

Today is Friday, November 13, and what did I do? Did I walk around under ladders, breaking mirrors and passing black cats? No, I did not, because I'm sick. Sick. For the first time in two years.

Well played, bad luck. Well played.

Funnily enough, this is also the first time I've drawn something in a month or two. Albeit crappily, but still. It's the thought that counts. Or something.

My mom also informed me today that she's going to the midnight premiere of New Moon with two of my aunts on Thursday...without me. My mother has become more of a Twilighter than me.

  • Listening to: Sleep, MCR
  • Reading: Loveless
  • Watching: Loveless (episode 11)
  • Playing: Yoshi's Island
  • Eating: Mucinex
  • Drinking: cranberry juice


Add a Comment:
DreamAssassin13 Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2011
btw its alexa i dont want to sound like some super stalker:D
DreamAssassin13 Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2011
spencer! i found you too! and you were right! creeping is sexy;)
poulpe-emo Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2009
thanks for the fav!!
overduse Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2009
Happy birthday Spencer! :clap:
overduse Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2009
Twilighter-Avatard Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2009

ain't it epic? :XD:
unbadger Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2009  Student General Artist
Thanks for the watch~
ShamelessDaydreamer Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2009
sure! i love your doujins. and the kung-fu anteater haha.
overduse Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2009
hello, paki turuan ako tagalog. :read:
ShamelessDaydreamer Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2009
ehh? you speak tagalog ??
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